Basic Ass Cooking

The worst part about writing a recipe about broccoli is that I have to remember how to spell the word broccoli. Have you ever spelled the word “broccoli” without assistance? If you have, then good for you. I hope you won the spelling bee as a child.

Enough horsing around, let’s get down to broccoli town…spelled b-r-o-c-c-o-l-i!

BASIC ASS STEAMED BROCCOLI

*that doesn’t taste like thick grass*

Ingredients:

• 1-2 heads of broccoli, florets cut off
• Approximately 1 teaspoon of salt
• Approximately 1 teaspoon of pepper
• Approximately 1/2 teaspoon of garlic powder
• Approximately 1/2 teaspoon of onion powder
• 1 tablespoon of olive oil (or however much you want, kinda)
• TOOLS: A medium sized pot and a steamer basket

Directions:

1. Bring water to a boil. Use enough water to cover the bottom of your pan, but not too much that it comes through your steamer basket.
2. Remove the florets (the bushy tree looking parts) from the rest of the broccoli (aka the stem-y parts).
   

   
3. Put broccoli florets into a bowl.
4. Add all seasonings and oil to the broccoli and toss to coat evenly.
   

   
5. Add the seasoned broccoli to the steamer basket and cook for approximately 7-10 minutes, until the broccoli is still bright green, but tender.

You can test the doneness of your steamed broccoli with a fork. Don’t cook your broccoli until it is dark brown. It’s less beautiful that way. And you deserve beauty, with your beautiful, basic ass.

Check out a recipe for salmon to go with your broccoli by clicking here.

This recipe will teach you how to make delicious mashed potatoes!

Bon appetit!